Mastering the Bible-Thumb Manoeuvre
June 1st, 2020
The Coronavirus raging, the George Floyd protests tsunami-ing across the US, Black Lives Matter supporters gathering in front of the White House — Washington D.C. was in the thick of it in what had already been a very thick year. With Lafayette Square pulsating full of predominantly peaceful protesters, America was in for another shock to its system from a president who lives off of “system shocks” much like an 80s hair band lives off of cocaine. Not wanting to be upstaged by the protesters, the president needed another “hit” to get the heart pumping in order to prove that he could and would “dominate the streets.”
A bead of sweat…the rope stretches…tension builds….the rope snaps…
With little warning law enforcement officers brutally cleared a path for the president and his entourage. Later on it turned out that some with the president didn’t want to be there and one member even distancing himself from the event, expressing regret for his presence in this directionless assault on freedom of assembly.
“I should not have been there. My presence in that moment, and in that environment, created the perception of the military involved in domestic politics.” — General Mark A. Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
Where were they going? Why did this need to happen? What was the purpose? What was the ultimate destination?
The group of law enforcement officers spearheaded the way and opened up a path with clash of shields, excessive force, and tear gas. Like a hound attracted to the scent of its catch, the president followed the pathway of chaos. They walked across the street to St. John’s Episcopal Church. Trump’s daughter Ivanka, pulled a Bible out of her handbag which she had been carrying with her the whole time. She handed it to her father, and he held it in his hands.
Before we go any further, this is the moment in time we need to freeze. There are so many things that are depressing about this whole scene — the use excessive force by the authorities, the reason for these protests in the first place, the pointless photo op, etc. There was one image, however, that stuck out in my head from this whole episode — it’s the way that President Trump cradles the Bible. Now, I’m not a religious person at all — I identify as an atheist; yet, I feel like I am somewhat of an expert and true believer in knowing how to handle and care for a book in my hands. With 41 years of literate experience, I can still remember how to hold a book, thumb through its pages, and enjoy its musty smell if I’m lucky enough to have a classic or used book in my grasp.
Trump is fascinating to watch here in this video, especially at the very beginning. He comes out holding the Bible in both hands, with his right hand holding the bottom of the book while his left hand holds the side. He doesn’t seem to realise that it’s a Bible; maybe he’s just coming around to the fact that it’s a book. At around 9 seconds, the viewer can almost imagine that he’s holding a very small baby, as he gives the Bible a couple of vertical shakes up and down as if to burp the volume. Then he flashes it around for the onlookers to see the dribble slide out of the baby’s mouth. I’m almost mesmerised at this point in the video, watching the look on his curious face as he figures out what he’s doing and why he’s doing it.
And then…it happens….
At exactly 19 seconds into the video, Trump pulls an incredible move with his right hand, the delicate swiftness and dexterity surprises me, and it’s something I never imagined possible. He holds onto the Bible with his left hand (he has probably figured out it’s a Bible by this point), the good book resting at an upwards angle, the “baby” still asleep. His right hand flips around so that the thumb is now facing outwards to the onlookers. Then his left hand passes the sleeping “Bible-baby” to the right hand, smooth as that same baby’s bottom. He raises the Bible up, supporting it only with his right hand, but apparently still unable to (or unwilling to) raise his arm up entirely. The baby awakens and the Bible cries out in full Bible anguish. With this incredible manoeuvre, what I will now refer to as the “Bible-Thumb” move, Trump has managed to hold the Bible in what I can only describe as the most single-handedly awkward way to grab a book. I can still hear the Bible begging to be put back on a shelf, under a bed, in a dusty corner, between a bison’s butt-cheeks…anywhere but in this position. I have to say that despite not supporting the president at all politically; however, I was….impressed, almost inspired, that he managed to fumble the simple task of holding up a book for an audience in such an uncomfortable way. Even though everything about the whole scene was very wrong, there was something undeniably original, odd, unforgettable, and dare I see “just right” (and by “right” I mean horribly wrong) about the way he held that particular book.
As I stared at this unholy image of the sexual assault being committed in the president’s right hand with his near-flawless spontaneously invented Bible-Thumb manoeuvre, I thought to myself: What if the Bible-Thumb manoeuvre was something not to be ashamed of? What if I, too, could Bible-Thumb an object, perfect the manoeuvre, and make it my own…redefine it? And did this object need to be the Bible, or could it be something else? Could it even be something….edible?
Below I have explored three types of cuisine in Taipei that can all be successfully Bible-Thumbed due to how they are handily crafted and presented to diners, after which they can be enjoyed innocently with mouth-felt glee. I have Bible-Thumbed each and every one of them, and I invite the reader to give them a try and perfect the manoeuvre before satisfying your appetite.
Taro Onigiri
I was first introduced to the Japanese light meal known as onigiri おにぎりwhen I lived in Japan almost two decades ago. I can’t remember the first time I ate onigiri, but it was most likely from a 7–11 or a Lawson, the very common and ubiquitous convenience stores found all over Japan. I have since been enjoying onigiri ever since. They make excellent on-the-go meals, and are surprisingly filling for their small size.
Onigiri are simply rice balls which are traditionally pressed into a triangular shape. There’s usually one or two types of ingredients besides rice mixed into the onigiri which can include but are not limited to salmon, tuna, pickled vegetables, ikura, pork, chicken, shrimp salad, etc. Normally, onigiri will fit in the palm of your hand and they are a good supplement to a larger meal, and they are excellent choices for packed picnic lunches.
Taro Onigiri, is a shop that specialises in onigiri-inspired hand sandwiches which are popular in Okinawa, Japan. The owner is originally from Tokyo, but the onigiri are from Okinawa, and they are the real deal. Rather than coming in the triangular shape, these onigiri are presented in a rectangular shape. The rectangular shape is partially due to the fact that these onigiri commonly utilise the processed American meat, Spam, within the onigiri. Spam was originally used as a main product of the diet around WWII in Hawaii, and so the usage of the spam in the onigiri helps give the Okinawa onigiri a wonderful cross-section combining American and Japanese cultures. Many of the onigiri at Taro Onigiri use Spam to give it a salty flavour. If Spam is not your thing, there are many Spam-less options as well.
My particular favourite onigiri combines fried bitter melon 苦瓜, spam, mayo, and rice, all wrapped in nori, seaweed, with a bit of sweet sauce on top. One of the ingenious design elements of the Okinawa/Hawaiian onigiri is the fact that the seaweed wraps around the rice on three sides so that the consumer’s hands do not get messy while eating. This formation of the onigiri also makes it easy to hold the onigiri in the Bible-Thumb manoeuvre without getting any rice on your hand when doing so. Taro Onigiri has three shops in Taipei with the prices of one onigiri ranging from 70–110NT.
Toast Man
“Toast has been raised to Godlike status,” my wife said one day after we walked by a bakery.
I do not disagree with this opinion, to be honest. It seems like people are crazy about sliced bread in Taiwan, and there’s some pretty fancy bakeries boasting pieces of toast presented elegantly in shiny ziplock packaging in Taipei. People also really like their sandwiches here. One of my favourite sandwich shops is called Toast Man.
The first time I at at a Toast Man was actually not in Taipei, but in the city of Taichung 台中 when I joined in an improv show with the lovely group called Skits and Giggles, the only fully English improv group in all of Taiwan (to my knowledge). Because the weather was so nice, we decided to try one of the sandwiches at Toast Man and eat in a nearby park on a Sunday afternoon. I ordered the sandwich that was actually a hamburger with American Angus beef (they were very specific on this point). As with the onigiri, while not huge in size, it was filling. In addition, the beef patty was handmade on the spot, grilled just right, and kept very juicy, providing an excellent contrast to the thick softness of the bread.
One of the brilliant things about this sandwich is that there are two ways to Bible-Thumb it. They present the sandwich in sort of a half-box container, so you could just Bible-Thumb the sandwich while it’s in the protective layer. However, I prefer to take any sort of sandwich or onigiri out of it’s bag/container and allow it to make skin-to-skin contact. Now, with an ordinary sandwich, this would be a disaster, as most sandwiches are made with two separate slices of bread, so if Bible-Thumbed the contents would most likely spill out. With Toast Man, this is not the case. The sandwich is actually made with one extremely thick piece of bread, and they slice the bread only deep enough to put the contents inside. The bottom of the sandwich is enforced with a healthy foundation of bread so that Bible-Thumbing is relatively convenient.
刈包 Guabao
When people ask me what my favourite Taiwanese food is, I often have to pause and think to myself, what dishes I would define as Taiwanese. There is most definitely a Taiwanese taste which I feel leans towards slightly sweet, slightly salty, but many of the dishes that I eat here I have also eaten different versions of in mainland China as well. With that being said, I have grown to love and become very accustomed to Taiwanese cuisine, especially the ubiquitous night market scene and street snacks. One of my favourite street snacks is the 刈包 Guabao, which is made by putting marinated three-layered pork inside a clam-shaped or ingot-shaped bun, made to resemble ancient Chinese money. In addition to the savoury pork, guabao will traditionally include pickled vegetables, cilantro, and peanut powder as well, although these can be adjusted according to individual tastes.
Like with most street snacks, the Taiwanese guabao is easy to find at almost any night market; however, once you get a taste for guabao, you start to become somewhat of a guabao snob. Everyone has his or her favourite guabao stand, and it becomes easier to discern the pretenders from the top quality. Although I have not tried the one in the video above (but plan to), the one that I particularly enjoy is located nearby Taipei’s 龍山寺 Longshan Temple. The restaurant is called 一甲子餐飲 — 祖師廟焢肉飯、刈包, and besides having excellent guabao, it also has some of the best braised pork belly rice 控肉飯 that I have eaten. There’s often justifiably lengthy lines to order, but the food is well worth the wait, the line moves rather efficiently, and the meals are extremely affordable as can be seen below.
As with Toast Man, it’s the bun that makes it possible to properly Bible-Thumb a guabao. The clam/ingot shaped bun wraps around the contents of the guabao giving it a secure cushion to rest in, much like the comfort of a womb protecting a fetus before birth. I highly recommend checking out this shop on your next trip to Taipei and Longshan Temple for a truly local experience. Make sure to Bible-Thumb the guabao with pride.
From Manoeuvre to Movement
After the 19 second mark passes in the original Bible-Thumb video, the president continues to hold the book in his right hand and sustains this pose for a few more seconds. The whir and click of press cameras echo in the background and blot out the president’s words as he drones on about the US remaining the “greatest country in the world,” and how it’s “going to be even greater.” He appears uncomfortable standing there on his own after a while, and he calls out some of his cohorts to join him for the picture, abandoning the Bible-Thumb.
And that’s the introduction of what could have simply been an awkward and mistaken hand pose by the president, possibly easily forgotten in time for the pointless moment it was. Still, it is my hope that we can give this manoeuvre its due place in history and commemorate absurdity with positivity and humour. Perhaps we can even redefine the Bible-Thumb manoeuvre into something greater, perhaps even a Bible-Thumb Movement if you will. And so, I send out a challenge to lovers of onigiri, sandwiches, guabao and peaceful protests alike to Bible-Thumb the food of their choice and make sure their food stays “nice and safe” in their hands, mouths, and memories.
